


Prada

by iolanthe_rosa



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-02
Updated: 2012-12-02
Packaged: 2017-11-20 02:45:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/580422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iolanthe_rosa/pseuds/iolanthe_rosa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finance and contract law can be fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Prada

“Come on, Liv, don’t be a pussy!” Elijah said into the phone. “You’re either in or you’re out. What’s it going to be?” A brief silence as Elijah listened. Then he smiled. “That’s my girl! You won’t regret this.” Elijah hung up and grinned at Dom. “That’s it! She was the last one. Eighteen partners. Signed, sealed, and delivered.”

 

***  
It was Casual Friday. Steve Mitchell, Vice President of New Line Cinema, was effortlessly casual in Dockers and a pink polo shirt. He was seated at the head of the long boardroom table. On one side was Susan Brogan, Director of Marketing Communications, an attractive middle-aged woman, expensively casual in tailored jeans and a white blouse.

“So what’s this about?” she asked, as she arranged her notebook and pens neatly in front of her.

“Don’t know. Elijah asked to meet with the two of us for a half hour to discuss the promotional plan, so I agreed. He’s a nice kid -- and the star of our blessed little cash cow. He can stand on his head for the next 30 minutes, for all I care.”

“He is a nice young man,” Susan agreed. Then she blushed, remembering her last meeting with Elijah. She had alternated between wanting to tell him to stand up straight and shave that darned scruff off his chin, and wanting to bring him home with her so she could shag him senseless.

Just as Susan was losing herself in a pleasant daydream, Elijah entered the room, carrying a laptop case in one hand. But the person they were looking at was not the sweet young Elijah they thought they knew. This was a different Elijah, an Elijah in a precisely tailored gray wool suit and glowing red tie, a fully adult Elijah, an Elijah to be reckoned with. Susan and Steve stared at him, speechless, utterly failing to hide their surprise.

Prada. Steve had worked in the industry long enough to be able to identify the designer immediately. He would know that perfect fit and the sheen of that finest quality gabardine anywhere. To Steve, the suit said one thing: “Power.” To Susan, it said something else: “Sex.” The both shifted uneasily in their seats.

Elijah stood still for a split second. He knew exactly the effect he was having, and he allowed the suit to work its magic. Then he reached over and shook hands with them both. “Hi!” he said, the spell broken by his perky and cheerful manner. “Thanks for giving me this time. I know you guys are really busy.”

Steve collected himself. “No problem, Elijah. What can we do for you?”

“I had some things I wanted to talk with you about. I put together a PowerPoint presentation and everything.” Elijah busied himself setting up his laptop on the mahogany table, then seated himself across from Susan. She could smell the spicy scent of his aftershave. She fought to keep her eyes from rolling back in her head.

“A PowerPoint presentation?” Steve repeated.

“Yeah! I know you guys like to see those short bullet lists, so that’s what I did.” While he talked, Elijah booted up the computer.

“I got my bonus check the other day,” he said, conversationally, as he pecked at the keyboard with one finger.

“I trust you were happy with it,” Steve smiled.

“Oh, I was, I was! Thank you. It was very generous. Really generous.” Elijah stopped working with the computer for a moment and looked up. “It’s just that, well, not everyone got as good a check as I got. In fact, some people’s bonuses were less than last year’s.” Then he leaned forward and spoke directly to Steve, as if sharing a secret. “Did you know that some key cast members didn’t get bonuses at all?” he said in a low voice.

Elijah’s expression saddened. He directed his gaze at Susan, locking eyes with her. “It’s true,” he said. “And none of us gets paid for any of our promotional appearances.”

Susan returned his stare and felt her throat tighten.

Just as quickly, Elijah returned to his old self.

“Anyway, that’s why I put together this presentation,” he said briskly. “I’ve had an idea about how to solve that problem.”

He pressed a key, and turned the laptop so it faced Steve and Susan. The first PowerPoint slide appeared on the screen. In bright, glowing gold colors, the letters “Fx2, LLP” appeared.

“Fx2 LLP?’ What’s this?” Steve asked.

“It’s really cool. It’s the name of our new company! Yeah,” he said, responding to their puzzled looks. “It stands for ‘Fellowship Times Two, a Limited Liability Partnership.’ He clicked the mouse to advance to the next slide. A list of familiar names appeared.

“Eighteen of us cast members have gotten together and formed a partnership for the purpose of promoting the movies. You see, since, for all intents and purposes, you are not paying us, we thought we’d just start managing the promotions ourselves.”

“What?” Steve said. “What are you talking about?”

“Were tired of doing stuff for you guys for free, so we’re going to do it for ourselves, and we’re going to share the expenses and stuff. Because you know, some of these guys can’t afford to work unpaid, so we’re going to pool our funds so everyone gets a little money for their work.”

Steve slowly took this in. He was not prepared for the direction this meeting was taking, but he had been in the business a long time, and he knew the beginning of a negotiation when he saw one. He forced his mind to slow down and collected himself.

“You can’t just break off like that. We may not be paying you, but you’re still contractually obligated to work for us.”

Elijah paused, seriously considering what he said. “Uh huh. Yeah, I can see how you might think that.”

Steve felt a prickle of irritation. “We don’t just think that. We know it. We can sue you for breach: under the terms of your contracts, you work for us, with or without pay.”

Elijah smiled. “Yes! That’s exactly why we formed a limited liability partnership. With limited liability, all you’ll be able to sue us for is our $150 filing fee that we paid the State. We don’t have any other assets invested in the company. Other than our celebrity status, that is.”

Steve’s irritation was turning to exasperation. “You can’t do that: you owe us a fiduciary responsibility!”

Now it was Elijah’s turn to show his first spark of anger. “Fiduciary responsibility? The way I see it, you’re the one with the fiduciary responsibility. New Line is our agent representing our interests, and it seems to me you’re breaching your duty of care towards us. Come to think of it, we may have a cause of action for negligence. See?” Elijah advanced to the next PowerPoint slide, entitled “Negligence.” It featured 4 bullets: Duty, Breach, Causation, and Harm. “Do these look familiar to you?”

Steve bristled. “Negligence is a two-way street, Elijah. New Line may be your agent, but we’re also Time Warner’s agent. We’re trying to look out for everyone’s best interests. Undermining that relationship could well be actionable.”

“Is it in ‘everyone’s’ best interest to cheat good people out of money that they earned?” Elijah’s expression changed from anger to concern. “And speaking of which,” “I almost forgot – nobody, not even me, has seen a penny from the merchandising yet. What’s up with that?” Elijah brought up the next slide, entitled “Studio Accounting Practices in Hollywood.”

“I was just talking to Hacker Douglas & Company – you know them? They were the accountants on the Buchwald case.” Elijah shook his head admiringly. “Boy, there’s nothing those guys don’t know about studio accounting practices. They were telling me some things about, what’s it called? Oh yeah, ‘unconscionable net profits.’ They mentioned that since all the partners in Fx2 are profit participants in the Rings franchise, our accountant has the right to check your books. I know you wouldn’t mind if we took you up on that. Besides, I have a geeky interest in that kind of stuff.” He smiled.

There was a moment of silence. Steve realized it was time to stop playing nice. In his sternest voice he said, “Elijah, you realize that none of this will hold up in court. We can still sue you, personally. Each and every one of you. New Line and AOL/Time Warner have more lawyers than you could possibly afford to fight on your own.”

Elijah leaned forward. Steve was briefly distracted by his red tie. “Uh huh. Go right ahead. Sue me. I’d love to see you guys in court. Wanna guess who my 17 star witnesses are going to be? It’ll be the biggest thing to hit CNN since O.J.! Court T.V. will make millions! Talk about bad P.R. You guys will look like idiots.”

Elijah paused for a beat, then continued, returning to his cheerful manner.

“So anyway, enough of that threatening lawsuit stuff. That’s no fun.” He bounced in his seat. “Let me tell you about our little company, ‘cause I’m really excited about it." He turned to Susan and smiled reassuringly. " I think this is the part you’ll be interested in, since you’re responsible for the promotional roll-out. Don’t worry about the stuff you had lined up for us already -- we’re going to grandfather those commitments into our business plan. But we’re also going to throw in some new things.”

“New things?” Susan asked faintly. Her head was swimming after trying to follow the legal discussion.

“Yeah.” Elijah advanced to the next slide, entitled “Fx2 Promotional Tour.” “Like for instance, Andy and Viggo are negotiating with NPR right now to go on Fresh Air and, you know, just talk about stuff for an hour.”

“Stuff?” Susan asked, too overwhelmed by Elijah in Prada to do more than repeat what he was saying.

“Yeah, you know, stuff they feel strongly about: the war in Iraq, gay marriage, how the Pledge of Allegiance violates separation of church and state, the Boy Scouts’ position on atheism, that kind of thing.

"And,” Elijah giggled. “You’re going to love this.” He giggled again. “Remember when Dom and I were talking about being in a video game with Jenna Jameson? Well, you’re not going to believe this: she called! She really wants us to do it! We’re so excited!

"And then there’s all the stuff you already had booked for us,” he continued, bringing up an “Existing Commitments” slide. He frowned. “There’s only one problem with those commitments.”

“Yes?” Susan asked with trepidation.

“Right now -- I don’t know why, really -- maybe it’s just the disappointment about those bonuses or something, or maybe the merchandising problem. But the fact is, we’re not feeling much like working. Like, you know how I have that charity hockey game tomorrow night? Well, my ankles are feeling kind of weak, and I just don’t think I can do it. So I cancelled.”

“Oh and that appearance on Conan? I cancelled that, too.”

“Sala and Lawrence– they’ve been playing a lot of tennis together and now they both have tennis elbow. They’re not sure they can sign autographs at conventions anymore.”

Steve broke in. He completely understood Elijah’s game now. “I suppose you’re going to tell me next that Dom and Billy are not going to the SAGs.

“Oh! Thanks for reminding me!" Elijah cried. "No no. You can count on them. Dom’s really excited about it, actually. He’s going to come out at the SAGs! Finally! He’s been wanting to do that for so long. And the Fx2 partners all thought the SAGs would be a great place to for him to do it.”

Steve opened his mouth, but before he could speak, Elijah interrupted. "I know what you're going to say, about the morals clause and all, right? But you know, the way we look at it, it's not like he has anything to lose: you're cutting his scenes, screwing him on bonuses, and not paying him for promotional work. What worse can you do to him than edit his hard work from the movie and then refuse to pay him for his time? His mind’s made up. At this point, I think you’d have to put bodyguards on him to stop him.” Elijah chuckled.

“But you know what?” Elijah continued, his expression becoming serious. “Maybe you can help me with one thing, because, you know, I am new at running a business and I do have a problem with one of the partners already.” He swallowed. “It’s Liv. Liv’s a problem.

“You see, she’s so upset about the situation, she’s stopped going to the gym. Been eating nothing but Cherry Garcia ice cream for two weeks. She and I are supposed to do that photo shoot for Entertainment Weekly in a couple of weeks, and we’re practically beside ourselves. It’s not going to be pretty, if you know what I mean – literally.”

Silence filled the room. Finally, Steve spoke. “Elijah. Can I ask you something?”

“Yes?”

“Why are you doing this? You’ve been handsomely compensated for your work. Your bonus was the biggest one given to a cast member.”

Elijah’s stared at Steve. Steve could practically feel the cold emanating from the blue ice of those enormous eyes. “That’s why I’m doing this. It wasn’t fair. My friends are being cheated. I’m doing this for my friends.”

More silence.

“You don’t get that, do you?” Elijah asked.

Steve sat up straight. “No, Elijah, I don’t. It makes no sense. You could be blacklisted for this. It could be bad for your reputation. It could be bad for your career.”

Elijah lowered the laptop lid and returned the computer to its case. He stood up. “I know you don’t understand it. I actually feel sorry for you that you don’t understand it. But I bet you’ll understand this: I’ve been working in Hollywood for 15 years. I’ve got millions in the bank. Fuck my career. As for my reputation: if my reputation is as a person who stands up for what’s right and is loyal to his friends, then I guess I can live with that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a Limited Liability Partnership to run.”

Elijah turned and walked out the door.

 

***

“So, how’d it go?” Dom caught Elijah in a warm hug as soon as he walked through the door.

“Good. It went good,” Elijah said, his voice was muffled, because his face was pressed into Dom’s shoulder. He raised his head. “I think we’ll all be getting checks in the mail pretty soon. And I think we’ll be seeing some of that merchandising money finally, too.”

“That’s amazing! You’re amazing." Dom held Elijah away from him and studied him in his suit. “I can’t tell you how much this suit turns me on. You’re just so bloody sexy in it.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah.” Dom ran his hands along Elijah’s silky sleeves, then smoothed his lapels with his long fingers. He started unbuttoning Elijah’s jacket. “So what did you do, exactly? Tell me about it,” he said. His tongue poked out a bit as he concentrated on sliding the jacket buttons through their holes.

“Oh, you know, I just explained about the partnership and how it worked. We talked about promotions strategy and contracts and stuff; that kind of thing.” The jacket slipped off Elijah’s shoulders, creating a wool puddle on the floor.

“Mmm, ‘promotions strategy.’ I love it when you use business words like that.” Dom loosened Elijah’s tie and slipped it out from under his collar. He began to unbutton his shirt, kissing each newly exposed bit of flesh as he went. When he was done, he tossed the shirt and tie on top of the jacket on the floor. Then he ducked his head to sample a taste of pink nipple.

Elijah sighed as Dom’s tongue flicked across his skin. “I learned it all from my mother, you know. They used to call her 'The Little Shark.'”

Dom looked up. “Do you have to mention your mother just now?”

“Sorry. What do you want me to talk about?”

Dom turned his attention to Elijah’s other nipple. “I want you to talk dirty finance talk, baby.”

“Mmm. Okay. Um. Bottom line.”

Dom grabbed Elijah’s ass firmly. “I love your bottom line.”

Elijah wiggled his ass in Dom’s hands. “Back end profits,” he whispered.

Dom undid Elijah’s belt and started unzipping his trousers. “I want to profit from your back end.”

Elijah fought to think of another term. The sight of Dom’s fingers hovering over his crotch was causing his mind to go blank. “Oh. I know. Anti-trust violations,” he finally gasped.

Dom pulled Elijah’s trousers and boxers down to the floor in one smooth motion. “I trust you to violate my auntie.”

“What?”

“Okay, that one didn’t work. Just keep going.” Dom knelt in front of Elijah. He stroked Elijah’s cock to hardness.

“Um. Oh. Uh. Co-mingling of personal assets.”

Dom stood up and pressed his crotch into Elijah’s. “I want to co-mingle my personal assets with yours.”

“Vertically… integrated… distribution… channels.” Elijah squeaked, just barely managing to push the words past his lips.

“I want to be vertically integrated with your distribution channels. In fact,” Dom purred, turning Elijah around and pushing him gently towards the wall, “That’s just what I’m going to do. Right. Now.” He grabbed the bottle of lube conveniently stored in the desk drawer and quickly removed his own jeans and kicked them across the floor.

“This is so weird,” Elijah panted as he bent over. “I can’t believe finance is one of your kinks.” He moaned as a lube-slickened finger pressed into him.

Dom leaned the length of his body against Elijah’s back and whispered into his ear. “So sue me.”


End file.
